He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
