I'm gonna have a badass scar
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
