Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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