they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
