i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
