So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
