my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
