You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
