youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
