I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The struggles of a small town man whore
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
