Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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