Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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