no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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