That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
