how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
