I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
