You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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