Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
