oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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