Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
