and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
