I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
