Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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