I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
