Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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