so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
