I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
