it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
