why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
