yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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