I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
