Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
