My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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