community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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