TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
