All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
