i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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