wake up i wanna do it froggy style
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
