Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
