Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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