we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
