too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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