i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
