Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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