Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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