What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
