Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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