This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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