dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
