Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
