Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
